Something feels off lately. I’ve been losing interest quickly in almost everything I do. Motivation seems to have vanished. Evenings are spent mindlessly watching YouTube, my work during the day is light and uninspired, and mornings are an unstructured mess. There’s no consistency, no habits – just randomness and a lack of spark.
What’s even more unsettling is the growing sense of disconnection from my kids. I work from home, so I see them every day. We’re physically together most of the time, yet emotionally, we feel miles apart. They have their routines, their world, and I have mine. It’s as if we’re living independently under the same roof. The same goes for my wife. How did it get to this point? When did this drift begin? Why?
Looking back, I can trace some of it to a challenging chapter in my life. Several years ago, I went through a painful separation from my ex-wife and the psychological impact of being apart from my kids. Starting fresh with a new relationship, building a business from the ground up, having more kids, and navigating all the challenges that came with it – it was tough, yes, but also deeply motivating. Back then, I felt alive. I was growing, improving, becoming a better version of myself every day.
But then, life stabilized. The chaos settled, the dust cleared, and things became… easy. And now? It feels like I’m on a downward spiral. The fire I once had seems dimmed.
I don’t have answers yet – only questions and concerns. But I know one thing for sure: something has to change. I need to reignite that fire. I know I’m capable of much more than this. I’ve proven it to myself before, and I can do it again.
For now, I’ll start small – with my morning routine. That seems like the logical first step. I need to reclaim those early hours, make them productive, healthy, and inspiring. From there, I’ll rebuild. This is just a snapshot of where I am today, but I’m hopeful. I know I can turn this around.
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