When I joined the Aikido club, it wasn’t for me – it was for Sasha, my five-year-old son. I wanted him to grow up confident, kind, and capable, and I thought Aikido could help him get there. But I didn’t want to just sit on the sidelines. It was important to me to be on the mat with him, doing exactly the same things he was doing, supporting him by being there, side by side. Finding a club that allowed such an age difference on the same mat wasn’t easy, but we got lucky.
If I’m honest, I had a lot of doubts about myself. Starting something new at my age? Never done martial arts before (well, apart from a brief stint 10 years ago). A black belt? Not even on my radar. I figured this was just going to be Sasha’s journey, and I’d tag along.
Then today happened. Sensei surprised Rohan and me by announcing that we would be graded. But it wasn’t going to be the usual way. Instead, we had to come up with a technique, demonstrate it, and then teach it to the group. We had to guide them, correct them, and essentially step into his role as a mentor. My throat went dry the moment he said it. Even with just a small group in the club that evening, the thought of standing up and teaching was terrifying.
Rohan was good – really good. He’s further along in his journey, grading from purple to a higher belt, and it showed. I was grading from white to yellow, and my lack of experience was obvious. But that wasn’t the point. The point was the experience itself – standing there, trying to teach, feeling what it’s like to guide others. It was a moment that made me step far out of my comfort zone.
Afterward, Sensei explained why he did it this way. It wasn’t just about testing our skills; it was about showing us a bigger perspective. He doesn’t just see us as students – he sees us as future trainers and mentors. That idea hit me hard. It’s one thing to show up and learn; it’s another to imagine yourself in a position where you might one day pass on what you’ve learned to others.
For the first time, I started to think, “Maybe I can make it. Maybe I can grow into something I never thought possible.” I still have doubts. I’m not a natural fighter, and instinctive reactions don’t come easily to me. But maybe that’s exactly why this matters. Learning something new at 40 is hard, but it’s also incredibly rewarding.
This journey isn’t just mine – it’s something I share with Sasha. Our time on the mat is special. Watching him grow, seeing his confidence build – it makes every moment worthwhile. And now, I hope he’s watching me too, seeing that it’s okay to be scared and to keep going anyway, because true joy is on the other side of the comfort zone.
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